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Friday, 05 September 2008

  • 8*19*08

       On August 19th, 2008 my Grandma Grindall went home to be with Jesus.
    She and my Grandpa are my heroes because of their giving up their retirement years to work with the Masai people in Kenya, Africa. But even more than that, what I admire most about her was her yielding, gracious, kindness that I witnessed in her right up until the time that she declined into dementia. Even on a harder day in which she didn't acknowledge my uncle who went and visited them every day, she still said, "I only love God... and daddy [my Grandpa]." So I think her core values were still intact even amongst all the confusion.
    I'm so grateful that I could be home in the states at the time and see her one more time before she passed away. The last day I saw her was at a family picnic that their nursing home put on. We sat outside with her and my Grandpa and ate hamburgers and hot dogs. She didn't eat much of her meal except for a very chocolaty ice cream bar.



    ~ she may not be smiling in this picture, but it's a comforting thought to know that she is smiling now safe in the arms of Jesus. ~
    I don't grieve for my Grandma at all because I know she is so happy and at rest, no longer tied down by her ageing body or her confused mind. The only painful thing in all of this is thinking of my Grandpa who just lost his wife of 68 years and no longer has her by his side in his last days. I don't know if I will get to see him again but I keep praying that he'll hold out until I can come home again and see him one more time. At my Grandma's graveside service I held his hand and told him I loved him. The tears spilled out at the thought that this might be the last time I see him. I hope his eyesight is as bad as his hearing, because I didn't want him to see me crying.
    I feel so blessed by God's timing because I was able to attend her graveside service with all of my Grindall family members the day before I flew back out to Taiwan. If I had already gone back to Taiwan before she died, I would have missed it. It was a simple, family affair where we sang, shared, and prayed together. I'm so happy I could be there.

    I was looking through my prayer journal from last year and I found these prayer requests written under her name:
    - remove worry
    - contentment in where she is placed
    - a close relationship and joy with [God] that does not dissipate as she gets older, but only gets stronger and stronger
    I suddenly realized that all those prayers are answered right now! She is in the prescence of Jesus, how could she not be content? There's nothing to worry about in heaven. And I can only but imagine that her relationship with God is at about the highest level of closeness and joy filled that it could possibly be! God is so good.

    Look here for a video of my Grandma and Grandpa's work in Kenya

Saturday, 02 August 2008

  • Simon Hoskyn says it...

    ...better than I could express it:

    Everywhere, every day, every time
    Subtly, in my ear, in my mind
    Different than all the noise, all around
    Calling me, calling me out

    Lord sometimes my heart just wants to leave this place
    Yet I confess, sometimes I love this world
    more than Your grace
    But in the end it’s You I need to love and live and breathe
    (last time) And in the end You’re good, so good to me
    And You’re always all I need

    In my mind, in my soul, in my bones
    Quietly lies the hope of a home
    Different than all the earth all around
    Calling me, calling me out

    You’re piecing me together little bit by little bit
    And one beautiful day I’ll be a whole
    Apart from all those pieces that were never meant to fit
    Sweet Jesus, I will finally let them go
    - Simon Hoskyn

Thursday, 26 June 2008

  • I don't like seeing myself in...

    At the end of his life, Darwin wrote:
    "Up to the age of 30 or beyond it, poetry of many kinds... gave me great pleasure, and even as a schoolboy I took intense delight in Shakespeare.... Formerly pictures gave me considerable, and music very great, delight. But now for many years I cannot endure to read a line of poetry: I have tried to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me. I have also almost lost scenery, but it doesn't cause me the exquisite delight which it formerly did.... My mind seems to have become a kind of machine for grinding general laws out of large collections of facts, buy why this should have caused the atrophy of that part of the brain alone, on which the higher tastes depend, I cannot conceive.... The loss of these tastes is a loss of happiness, and my possibly be injurious to the intellect, and more probably to the moral character by enfeebling the emotional part of our nature."

    I found it a little scary that my life at the tender age of 24 should have a striking similarity to Darwin's at the end of his life as a 70+ year old man.
    Sunsets and beautiful scenery used to stir my soul in a strong way. Music, art, romance, stories, movies, books, thoughts, photography, quotes... all don't have the same affect on me any more. I've become a bit cynical. Devoid of emotion in many areas. It's quite sad.

    Something needs to change.

Saturday, 10 May 2008

  • 金門天使們

    The Kinmen Angels...
    That's what a friend at church started calling us at the beginning of the school year and the name stuck. This year has been an incredible blessing from God regarding my team. We've experienced unity and one-heartedness in such a way that only the Holy Spirit could have worked in us. The five of us are best friends; as close to sisters as you can get. There are no cliques, no held in resentments, and [so far] no fights. Besides the Lord, my family, and one or two friends back in the states, I have no one else who understand and know me and love me so well. When I look back on my second year here in Kinmen, I'll always see it as a precious gift of God. Let me 介紹 [introduce] 以下 [below]:

    Megan
    When us girls go running together, she's the one who always runs back to make sure no one is running alone.
    As a team leader, she doesn't get hung up on rules but she doesn't bend on them either. She genuinely respects and wants to be an encouragement to her authorities. She comes along side of us and serves us by being our leader rather than sitting above us and telling us what to do. She makes it a point to pray with each one of us once a week.
    She is genuine. She never says a word that she doesn't truly feel. She sometimes sees things in others that I don't, and will warmly compliment them on whatever it is. Even though I may not feel it to be true, I know without a doubt that it is truly genuinely from her heart.
    Her personality is most like me as we both can be quiet people who like our alone time and wouldn't die if we went a day without talking {unlike a vast percentage of our teammates ;)}. She's logical and oftentimes when she and I are talking about a situation she'll come at it from a totally different angle than I am, which makes sense and which I would never have thought of myself.
    The times that she and I have gone on late night walks on the beach together to talk and pray are some of the moments where I have felt most close to God here in Taiwan.
    She's the queen of lesson planning.
    She's loyal and a good friend.

    Jarita
    is the most sensitive roommate I have ever had. When I go to bed she turns off all the lights and tiptoes around the room to avoid disturbing me. But she never complains or says anything to me if I stay up later but forget to turn off the lights. She always makes sure to open the door quietly when she's going out and in. She apologizes to me for the mess when really it's 90% MY stuff strewn across the floor and chairs. She doesn't play the music she knows I don't want to listen to even if it's her favorite and what she's in the mood for. If I even once casually mention that a song annoys me, I never hear that song again. She remembers all my pet peeves that I've ever mentioned in a passing moment and tries her utmost to avoid them like the plague. She can tell if I'm not in a good mood just by the way in which I climb into bed at night. She's the one who most has to put up with my peevishness and grumpy morning attitude, but she never complains or blames me. She just unselfishly tries her best to make me happy.
    Did I mention that she cooks for us too? Wow, just talking about Jarita makes me feel like a horrible selfish wretch...
    Anyway, she's as close and as comfortable to be around as a sister. In fact, sometimes I even forget that she's not my sister. ;D

    Bex
    The thing I most love and admire about Bex {besides her amazing Chinese} is her pure love for the Lord Jesus which never slacks or fades away. Whether she is up or down, her relationship with Jesus remains constant. That always inspires and challenges me. She unselfishly loves the dorm kids as their Jie Jie [big sister] no matter how many times they hurt her heart. Her warmness of heart and excellent Chinese attracts a lot of friends, both young and old alike. Any chance she gets, she shares about her relationship with 耶穌 [Jesus] with anyone who brings up any problem they are dealing with.
    Did I mention she's talented? She can lead worship at church and her piano playing is divine.
    She dearly loves her family and she loves us girls as her sisters.
    Whenever I feel the need for some physical touch in this very non-physically affectionate culture, I can always count on Bex for a hug. She's the one that I can cuddle with or walk arm in arm down the street with.
    I love her very much.
    {did I mention that about Jarita and Megan? Because I love them as well}

    Lauren
    I didn't have a good picture of Lauren by herself. But I think this one lets her personality shine forth pretty well. ;)

    Lauren is the life of the party. When she's gone, I always feel like a huge part of us is missing {the fun part, haha}. She always has a story about her day or her family to make us all laugh, or a zany idea to propose ["let's go exploring the tunnels tonight even though it's 10 o'clock and we only have our cellphones as lights"].
    She wakes up at ungodly hours and cleans the bathroom or cooks breakfast before everyone else wakes up. She, like Jarita, cooks. She cleans. She's a domestic diva.
    She's my hair advisor. When I don't know what to do {pretty much most of the time} I just go to her and ask her to help me out.
    She has a sensitive heart for the lost. When we pray together as a team or read the Bible, it often comes forth in the form of tears.
    I love hanging out with her. She's an awesome friend and I never have to worry about not knowing what to talk about because she always has something to say or a question to get me talking. We can share our heart issues with each other and know we are understood.
    I appreciate every moment I'm with her and I don't know how I'm going to do without her next year when she goes home.
    I love her very much.


    So there you have it.
    The Kinmen Angels.
    My team,
    My sisters,
    My friends.

    Thank You Lord for this precious gift.

    I love you girls!!!

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

  • feeling more hopeful

    As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
    My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
    My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, where is your God?
    When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me:
    for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
    Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
    O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill of Mizar.
    Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all they waves and thy billows are gone over me.
    Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
    I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
    As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
    Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

    - Ps. 42

grindog

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    • Name: Rachel
    • Birthday: 7/27/1984
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/29/2006

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About Me

  • Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. - George Eliot